On Tour With The Kid | The Random Thoughts of a Woman With Time on Her Hands

As I write this, I feel that the world is quite heavy. Things in the Middle East have never seemed more tense or closer to spilling over into World War III. The American election is a nasty circus. The news just seems more depressing than ever.

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I’m not qualified to talk to you about any of these things, but I have found that my mind tends to drift off to the absurd more often when the world feels like this.

At the risk of opening pandoras box, I’m going to tell you the random things that went through my mind on a 4-hour drive. Brace yourselves.

Random thought #1 - After driving up the road and seeing the back of a shirtless tradie standing in the middle of said road, I think quietly to myself: Why is this muppet standing in the middle of the road, surely he can hear my car coming? No, please feel free to keep standing there and conversing with your mate on the other side of the street. It’s not like anyone else has anywhere to be. He’s quite good-looking and age appropriate. What a funny story that would be

about how we met if we got together. He could be the love of your life. But would the love of your life really be dim enough to stand in the middle of the road, not bothering to look for oncoming traffic? I think not. Back to ‘Is this muppet planning on moving’.

Random thought #2 - I’ve been feeling really stressed lately. Maybe I should do yoga and meditation, but I find them both so dull. I know the point is to slow down your mind, but my brain just doesn’t turn off when I'm silent. I can’t stop thinking about the 50,000 things I have to do. I admire people who can do that. What’s the black belt version of meditation? Being a monk must be the gold standard. Do I want to give up all my worldly possessions for inner peace? Not really. Does that make me a terrible person? What if it empties your mind of all the useless stuff, and you could become this all-knowing being? It sounds good in theory, but how dull would that be? Your sense of curiosity is what makes you human and gives you joy. Doesn’t that go away if you know everything? So, yoga is a no. I wonder if there is a true crime podcast I haven’t listened to yet.

Random thought #3 - What’s that noise? I hope there isn’t something wrong with the car. We are in the middle of nowhere. It’s not going to be ideal if we break down. Back in the 70s, you could pick up hitchhikers, and you could trust that if someone pulled over to help you, they had good intentions. But now I’d be too nervous to accept help from anyone. Like that last car we passed. He might be the nicest guy in the world, but I don’t know that. How far is the next town? 70km. I can’t walk that far. I got puffed walking to the shop the other day. NOTE - I realised that the noise was the strap of my handbag hanging out of the car door and banging against the metal. Never mind. I wonder who is on Joe Rogan this week? So, this is the inner workings of the mind of a middle-aged woman who likely has undiagnosed ADHD because all my medical advice now comes from videos on Instagram. Just be aware that next time you talk to someone, and they don’t seem to be listening, it’s not you. You are just competing with a whole thought process already going on in

their head.