Man Versus Bear | On Tour With the Kid

You won't believe this, but there has been a misunderstanding on the internet! Shocking, I know.

---

Back in March, a TikTok account called callmebkbk, which posts a lot of anti-misogyny education videos, ended a video by saying, "If you are in the woods alone, seeing a man is ten times scarier than seeing a bear."

Women and most men thought, "Well, yeah," and a small number of men began arguing why a bear was worse. He never posed the question as a ‘would you rather’ because he already knew women would choose the bear.

After many posts from people flatly refusing to see things from a female perspective, the original account posted a pretty comprehensive list of ways women might reach that conclusion. The list has been added to since then, but some of the most compelling are below.

12) No one would question me about what I was wearing if the bear attacked me.

11) A bear won't see me playing dead or passing out as consent.

10) I won't have to see a bear at a family gathering.

9) No one would accuse me of liking the bear attack.

8) A bear's motives are easier to understand.

7) A bear won't accuse me of leading them on by being nice to them.

6) I would not be forced to carry the bears' babies to term in 27 states (American issue but no less horrific).

5) The bear will either kill and eat me or leave me alone. There are not 400 other horrible ways a bear can hurt me.

4) Bears do not traffic women.

3) A bear's friends won't come out to say how nice the bear is and how attacking me is ruining its life.

2) No one will question if the bear attack really happened.

1) The bear sees me as a human being.

The question morphed online through reposting and on-the-street interviews into “Would you rather see a bear or an unknown man in the woods?” Even among my circle of friends, that particular scenario raised some interesting questions.

One male friend correctly pointed out that women are most often attacked by someone they know. This is completely correct, but it’s perfectly understandable that if you can’t even trust people you know, then trusting no one becomes your default position.

I have three gorgeous male friends who I have known for more than 20 years. Each sincerely asked if I had ever been afraid around them. These are men with whom I not only feel safe but who have actively protected me in some pretty scary situations—the kind of guys who have never let me walk to my car alone in the dark.

They were not concerned I would be attacked by a bear on King Street. Instinctively, they know there is a threat to me walking by myself.

What they didn’t know was that every woman I know, when she has to walk alone, walks with her keys between her fingers, is hyper-aware of her surroundings, checks the back seat before getting in and locks the doors as soon as her body hits the driver's seat. How would they know that every woman I know has had a moment where the man behind them on the street or stepping into the elevator with them meant no harm meant their heart rate increased, and they began thinking, “Here we go, this is it”. This has been a great chance to start that conversation.

Sadly, it’s not just women. I know plenty of male survivors and men who have been violently attacked. It’s not always the case, but by an overwhelming margin, the attacker is still another male. So, although this conversation has focused on women, violent predators are a threat to everyone.

I know some of the best men in the world, and if you are one of the overwhelming number of good guys, don’t be insulted. Just understand that a woman letting their guard down with the wrong guy can make them a statistic—one of the many faces we see on the news all to often. The fear isn’t about you - it’s about self preservation.